Success in Therapy
You’ve begun to think about going into therapy. It’s a very big step so naturally you would like to have some sense that there will be a modicum of success before you commit to the time and the expense…not to mention that you’ll be telling what amounts to a perfect stranger at the beginning of the therapy so many very personal things.
It would be great to offer prospective patients/clients the equivalent of a “satisfaction guaranteed” sticker before embarking on a therapy journey. But that is not realistic. Each person’s experience in therapy is highly subjective and individualistic, therefore, what constitutes “success” or “satisfaction” can’t really be quantified and generalized. And that is a good thing, but it leaves one in the dark as to whether therapy will work for them.
To address this, I’d like to suggest a few tips to maximize your therapy experience:
Make sure you and the potential therapist are a good fit.
What do I mean by “good fit”? Essentially, the therapeutic relationship is a relationship before all else. If you feel uncomfortable from the start with a potential therapist, the work could be stymied, the exchanges between you and the therapist may not feel authentic and the work may not go forward in an effective manner. This is not to say that one will not have times where they do feel uncomfortable in a session; there may be very sensitive topics being discussed, or some revelation in the session might make one feel sad, anxious, uneasy, furtive. But this range of emotions is normal and to be expected. In fact, if you sense the potential therapist is someone with whom you cannot access your authentic self with, for whatever reason, then this is not the therapist for you.
How do you know, you may ask? Luckily, these days just about everyone has a website, perhaps even some social media presence where you can get a good sense of what their modality is, what their philosophy toward doing therapy is, as well as practical matters, like what they specialize in.
Ask questions, lots of questions.
Entering the therapy space can feel intimidating, especially if this is your first treatment. Some people might feel they do not have the right to question the professional. It is absolutely your right to ask the therapist as many questions as you feel you require answered—everything from the practical, including fees, cancellation policy, etc., to questions about their philosophy of treatment.
Give therapy a chance.
It takes time for therapy to begin to have an effect. It is, after all, a relationship. A special specific type of relationship to be sure, but in essence a therapy session consists of two people, one who is asking for help and one who wants to help and to do so, needs to learn about you.
Try to choose someone that is easier to get to.
This may seem like common sense, but it needs to be reiterated. If there is inordinate hardship getting to your therapist’s office, there may be less inclination to attend. Getting to therapy can be difficult enough emotionally at certain times; adding on an arduous commute just creates an unnecessary obstacle.
Take your finances into consideration.
This too may sound like common sense. But if the therapist’s fee is likely to cause financial hardship eventually, this may introduce an obstacle to progress in treatment, especially if paying your therapist in timely fashion becomes an issue, or resentment build up because you simply can’t afford treatment and feel awkward about saying something. To that end, many therapists are sensitive to this issue and will encourage an open discussion about fees.
How will I know therapy will work?
The short answer is you don’t. But allow me to elaborate although there are no guarantees that your experience in therapy will be a success, scores of people have found great relief, gained a great deal of insight and have bettered their lives and their interpersonal interactions through therapy. And in a treatment that address past events, family dynamics, personal history and relates these factors to current experiences, the gains made in therapy will stick.
To conclude where I began, making the decision to seek therapy is a big step, but also a very brave one. One should be gentle with oneself in the process of starting treatment, but also congratulate yourself on taking the step that will help improve your life and your relationships.